Why can't people just do what they say they are going to do?

By the end of the workday on Wednesday, Health Alliance had Kai's authorization request in their system pended for review. Mine was not there. Then Tuesday, Bonny from Health Alliance called me to get a few more details and said she was approving it right then for 6 visits and said all Huddleston's office needed to do was to call her w/ details regarding the surgery. Bonny was fantastic! Very concerned for our well being. I asked her about my referral. She said she only did the kids, but would ask that a case manager be assigned to me and told me who she was going to ask to be my case manager and would call her herself. I really felt relieved after talking to her and very happy w/ Pegram's office for being so willing to do what is needed w/out any delay or hesitation.

So, at 4:30 on Tuesday, I called Huddleston's office and told them about my conversation w/ Health Alliance. Debbie confirmed that they had the approval already and it had Bonny's name on it. I asked Debbie to please call Bonny and give her the info that is needed to get the surgery approved. Debbie also said the only thing they were waiting on was hearing from my surgeon, Dr Moon's, office for his available dates. So, I asked her what the first available Tuesday would be for Huddleston. She said it would be Sept 2nd because he was booked the week of Aug 11th, out the week of the 18th, already had a big case for the 26th. So, she was going to see if Moon would be available for Sept 5th. By the time I got off the phone w/ Debbie, it was too late to call Dr Moon. I was somewhat relieved that by Wednesday, I should have a date

Today, I thought I would give everyone most of the day to get things arranged and to get me called. While I was at lunch. my PCP office, Dr Wemlinger, nurse Suz called and said Kathy from Health Alliance had called her back and needed more information about the diagnosis and recommendation and Suz needed the phone number for Braverman. Hello!!!!!!! Don't they have the internet? Don't they have a physician network w/ those numbers? I got his number from the internet. I gave it to her. I checked the Health Alliance website and do see that my referral request is pended for review.

So, shortly about 3:45 today, I called Moon's office and spoke to Linda. Linda tells me that Huddleston's office has not contacted her, but Dr Moon had left her a note that said I would be calling to set up surgery dates and that it needed to be coordinated w/ Huddleston's office and that we wanted the surgeries on the same day. I told her that we did not want them on the same day, but Kai's first, then mine either 3 or 4 days later. I told her that Huddleston's office had told me that the first Tuesday they had open was Sept 2nd and asked if Moon was available on Sept 5th. She said No, he is actually out of town that day which she said is unusual because he is rarely ever gone. Figures! Just my luck. But Linda was very empathetic and said she would call Huddleston's office, but she wanted to talk to Dr Moon and he was gone for today. She would talk to him tomorrow, then call Huddleston's office. I explained to her that it wouldn't have to be Kai on a Tuesday and me on a Friday, Kai could be done on a Friday, and me on the next Tuesday.

After that, I just couldn't take it anymore. I can't concentrate on my work at work. I need to get things done. I have only been in this job for 9 months and this was not in my plan. I was going to go into this job and just kick ass and blow them away. I wanted to be the best new person they had ever hired. And now, this crap happens and I am finding it so hard to do what I am supposed to do. I feel like I am letting down my project teams, my testing teams, my boss, my department. I am having a really hard time getting past that. I just broke down, right there at work. The other major thing I never wanted to happen. I left a few minutes early and cried all the way home, almost to the point I couldn't catch my breath. When I got home, I had cramps, a headache was starting, all I wanted to do was go to bed. So, I did and stayed there until 8:00. No, I don't feel too much better, still crying on & off.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Maybe tomorrow I will get dates and approvals. Good news is, Kai is doing great. The sad thing is it seems like he is watching out for me, reassuring me that he loves me. Bryan has been absolutely great in all of this. I asked him how he could stand being around someone like me who is so emotional all of the time. He said he finds the light at the end of the tunnel and focuses on it. I asked him what the light was now. He said the quality of life after the surgery. I am not so sure that my quality of life after the surgery is going to be any better and may not be as good as it is now. I don't count on anything anymore. I just keep praying that God will allow me to sleep solidly, awake refreshed, help me have a productive, worry free day, and hopefully get me some surgery dates I can live with.

Please continue to pray not only for our physical well-being, but for our mental well-being as well. I need it so bad. I am very lucky to have so many caring people in my life and I am so grateful. So, thank you to all who give me support every day. I truly appreciate it.